Published on June 28, 2008 By da_zman20 In Life

  The thought of someone starting an autobiography may sound like an ear-full to those not in it, and I can agree, since I have my own life, and don't really need to know about anyone else's.  However the opposite is true of a blog.  I think many people come online everyday and throw small tidbits of themselves onto the internet, and many others are interested in the happenings of others.  Whether it is the opinionated story of a young girl like Loneygirl15, or the ramblings of an older man describing his thoughts on politics.  For the few minutes you watch, or read their blogs, you are captivated by what they have to say, and whether or not you know this person away from the internet is irrelevant.  You want want to know more.  As this article is read I want people to understand my point of view, and know that I understand some people will get bored with it.  This past month of my life has been an astonishing one, and I've grown more this past month, than I have in the last 5 years.  I hope in this article to chronicle my dramatic change as a man, and leave a course of steps that can be followed by others that may need a similar change in their lives.

Back in 2005 I moved Sherman Oaks, a suburb of Los Angeles, and eventually came to notice, that I hate LA, and don't believe it's a great place for anyone to live.  The things that have really brought me down since moving to LA are far to numerous to mention completely, and I most certainly won't go into detail about all of it.  Upon moving here I was screwed over by people that I thought were family, in what was "our" family business.  The money wasn't evenly divided, in fact it swayed so far the other way, I was making roughly $3 an hour, while the "family (not including myself)  takes vacations bi-monthly, blowing thousands of dollars on each one.  I've slowly drifted away from my friends, and family in some cases working as much 110 hours in one week.  I was told that it was a life lesson, and that once it was over I would have so much more than I did.  I was told that the hard work I was putting in for our family business would pay off, and although I was obviously being taken advantage of, I believed it.  If I could have only seen where things were going, I might have been alot stronger.   When awkward health problems started coming up, and even an injury from work, that I couldn't report for workman's comp (remember it is a "family" business) I started getting real depressed, realizing that not only was it affecting me physically, but this job was taking a toll on me mentally.   I'd had enough, and found myself not knowing what to do about it.  This went on for a few years.     Finally about a month ago, I saw myself doing something, that I do sometimes, to make myself feel better, and that something was drinking.  I got pretty wasted, and I woke up asking myself why.  Why had a I drank the night before, why did I get wasted to the point that I made a terrible ass of myself?  I was there with a group of college kids having fun, and I wanted to feel like one of them.  After all they were having fun, why shouldn't I.  In fact I was jealous of them for being so young.  The problem with that is that I'm only 25 myself.  I'm certainly not old, but I do feel old.  I felt as though I had years of bad experiences, and that makes me old.  I immediately started working on being a better man first, and second being as young as I truly am.  First I spoke to the family, and let them know I'm leaving as soon as I find a new job.  The job search started immediately.  Next I started a list of goals.  The first of those goals was to do something big.  I registered for the Pacific Open Swim Race, and at the time of writing my swim was to be the following day.  I hit the gym 3 to 4 times a week, and made milestones to reach before my event.  Week one swim 2000 yards total,  week two swim 500 without stopping, and make it to 2500 yards total, week three make it to 1000 yards without stopping, and week 4 take it easy.  I made all of my goals and then some.  I never let up, and once I had divided what I needed to do into smaller parts, it came pretty easy.  I changed my diet, and that's working in ways that even I have trouble believing.  A drop of alcohol hasn't touched my tongue since I changed my attitude, and I won't go near the stuff.  I feel more energetic, and I know that I can accomplish anything, if I just set a goal. 

My goal list for the future consists of doing one more swim this year, finding a new job, moving back home and out of LA, and being a good father to my unborn child.  I will revamp my list consistently, and never lose track of why I made it.  Thank you for reading all of this, and I now know I have a great future ahead of me.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Comments
on Jul 02, 2008

they were in there when I posted it... I swear... lol...